Top 10 things you should have done in your last company after you realized all hope had been lost.

Pourin’ one out for the homies…

10.  Mutter to yourself in a foreign language of your own creation.

9.  Shave/pencil your eyebrows into an angry expression.  Yell and/or cry a lot.

8.  Determine how many cups of coffee is, definitively speaking, “too many.”

7.  Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting.  During the meeting noisily devour 5 entire raw potatoes.

6.  Celebrate Halloween.  Every day.

5.  Spend all your money on Jolt Cola.  Drink it all.  Stack the cans on your desk.  Number them.  Alternatively, name them.

4.  Spend all your money on Transformers.  Play with them instead of working.  If your boss says anything, confront him/her in a mysterious voice saying “They’re more than meets the eye.”

3.  Sit at your desk and stare blankly at the clock/wall.  If your boss should approach, stand, point at him/her bellowing “YOU CALL THAT WORKING?!”  Sit back down as though nothing happened.

2.  No matter what anyone asks you, reply “Okay.”

1.  Smile.  All the time.

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