Steven Seidenberg peers into the future and reports back on the inevitable conclusion to last week’s Supreme Court ruling.
I found this buried in a drawer over the holidays. It appears to be from a 1976 edition of the Readers Digest.
Happy Father’s Day!
The following essay, which had evidently been written by a young schoolgirl as a Father’s Day assignment, was found blowing around in the front yard the other day:
The best thing about my father is that he doesn’t use words like groovy or gross or try to talk like a kid. When he drives me and some of my friends to a show, he doesn’t tell any jokes. He just groans a lot and sometimes mutters to himself. All the kids think it’s funny the way he groans. Many of them have fathers who tell jokes, which are boring.
When he taught me to throw a baseball like a boy, he didn’t say it was becasue girls throw baseball funny. All he said was that if I would learn to throw a baseball the way he showed me, he wouldn’t get sick to his stomache watching.
My father says that women can be anything they want these days, judges or scientists or even President. But he says in all these jobs it’s important to keep your room cleaned and brush your teeth after every meal. He says it is bad to cheat at games, and points out that when he is playing with us kids, the only times he cheats are when he would lose otherwise. My father has worked very hard for every dime he has, a fact which he mentions from time to time.
My father has this weird thing about telephones. He says that were intended to convey a message in two minutes or less, not to giggle over for 45 minutes. Alther he doesn’ think people should talk on the telephone, he talks to people on the television all the time. We tell him the people can’t hear him, and he says that’s just a lot of propaanda the TV people put out to stifle dissent.
He always says that he doesn’t want anybody to give him anything expensive for Father’s Day, and he claims that’s the only thing he ever says that anybody around the house pays any attention to.
– Bill Vaughan, NANA
My recent favorites:
- Man Twitters and is attacked by tree
- Man Rescued From Hole That Opened in Seattle Sidewalk
- Man Uses Horse Tranquilizer to Sleep
- Man Robs Convenience Store With Beer Box on Head
- Man finds snake head in his broccoli; restaurant ‘regrets’ the error
- Man shoves would-be suicide jumper off bridge for holding up traffic (includes video!)
- Man, 62, Sues for $125G Saying Ohio Police Made Him Walk Home in Polar Bear Pajamas
And I thought my blood pressure was bad.
This has nothing to do with aliens.
Although the porcupine kind of looks like Larry King.
Lee, please stop sending me these links.
Why do I purchase clothing without trying things on or, for that matter, bothering to look closely at what I’m actually buying?
A lament in haiku form.
New jeans. Old habits.
Way too much morning coffee.
“What the..?!” Buttons fly.
Got a note from Japanese Grand Papa (“Jiiji”) in Nagoya. He and “Baaba” have been obsessed with getting clothes for Layla. A couple of days ago he apparently spotted a cute little Santa outfit and, without a second thought, whipped out his wallet and snapped it up.
Walking proudly out of the store he noticed that a number of people shopping with dogs in tow. Looking around he also noticed that the store mannequins were… dog shaped. He made his way back to the sales counter and asked, tentatively, “This wouldn’t happen to be a dog outfit, would it?”
“Of course” replied the confused sales clerk.
Fortunately Jiiji returned the outfit.