Top ten spam subject tag lines that have actually caused me to pause and consider penis enlargement

Who says spam can’t be fun?

10. think over your agregate size

9. Enormous device is your treasure

8. Improbable effect on your phallus!

7. Your measurement of success is by the INCH.

6. I carry a bazooka in my pants, walking around.

5. Your little soldier will grow up to a big love general!

4. inches in your pants will make you the world’s 8th wonder to women.

3. Why be a tiny cocktail sausage, when you can be a mighty wiener.

2. Behind every great man lies a huge secret in his pants.

And the number one spam subject tag line that has actually caused me to pause and seriously consider penis enlargement…

1. Be the master of the universe, with a huge broadsword in your pants?

You know, I’ve thought over my agregate size and.. sure, why not? By the Power of Greyskull!

Desperate Spam Countermeasure

The spam hitting one of our mail servers is getting completely out of control. Since this particular server is more of a mailing list broker, exclusively for Japan, rather than try to fight the influx of global spam — which lately even traditional filters and blocklists seem to be ineffective against — we’ve decided to simply not accept email from anywhere except Japan itself.

Andreas Plesner Jacobse maintains an excellent set of geo blocklists, the DNSBL. Turned this on against some of the more naughty spam countries last week. In Postfix for example:


Bye bye China.

Anyway, so far so good. Spam has gone from hundreds (maybe thousands) of messages slipping through our traditional filters each day to a small trickle of Japan-originated spam.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to maintain a large enterprise email farm. Maybe like trying to grow corn on a plantation overrun by an ever surging plague of locusts!

Working out karmic issues in WordPress

“Spam Karma” that is.

I’ve set up a couple of WordPress blogs over the last year or so. Some (unlike, say, this one) have become quite popular. Especially with comment and trackback spam.

Tried Dr. Dave’s Spam Karma 2 for awhile. SK2 comes with a host of modularized spam countermeasures. The good Doctor calculates a spam “karma” per module for each inbound comment. Comments with good karma pass through to enlightenment and… the dashboard. Those with outstanding karmic issues find themselves in purgatory to await ultimate review.

SK2 worked quite well for us, though there was the occasional false positive. And periodically reviewing hundreds of messages in comment purgatory was getting to be troublesome.

Recently however I’ve come across two plugins that seem to completely eliminate spam: WP Hashcash and Simple Trackback Validation.

Hashcash uses a JavaScript proof of work countermeasure to test that a browser, not a robot, is visiting one’s site. (Robots don’t run JavaScript.) STV uses two simple checks to confirm the validity of incoming trackback links.

Since implementing these two plugins last month, spam has gone from hundreds per day, to zero. What’s more, no missed comments.

All due respect to the good Doctor, but enough of karma. I’ve finally seen the light.